South Paw, or, the Workings of the Universe (part 1)

There's that saying we've all heard from another in conversation about how, when something isn't going the way you expected or when you are faced with a struggle, it is best to remember the idea that 'the Universe presents you with exactly what you need'.
Even if it doesn't seem as so.
That's a hard pill for some to swallow, especially in moments where you want to yell "WTF?" (though it doesn't hurt to do that too...)
...like when you are hurling yourself in the direction of your creative life dream, grinning wide, coattails flying behind you in your creative dreamy arty breeze, and you receive some staggering unexpected and weight-y news that flips the whole scenario over like a sidewinder ripping through your living room, leaving chaos on the floor and a giant mess to sort through and reorder.  And just as you begin to identify "oh, this goes here, that was there" in the make-up of your entire creative and thriving self, you break your hand.

at least I achieved a sweet arty cast...

And at that moment you really begin to question what the Universe is going for here. Really?

But I'm learning it's all about faith. (Man, I never thought I'd be using that word!) A frame of mind.  A zen practice.  A connectivity to something greater. Cosmic.

It seems like all my work in trust and openness to the will of the Universe these days/weeks/months is not for nothing. There has been an internal shift that I cannot deny- like tectonic plates underneath our own feet.  Where once my avalanching snowball of negativity rolling down the hill would bury "trust" under the heavy pile of defeatedness, now I can step out of the way and trust that the Universe will intervene and that even if it doesn't seem like everything could possibly be alright, it will be.

Perhaps it took such a brute force and final straw that broke the camel's back (i.e. my hand...but it WAS the right and I'm a southpaw...) to recognize this legitimate growth, this shifting of plates within.  This is not to say that the road immediately ahead won't be bumpy and frustrating and at times heavy, hard.  But if I can trust the Universe, I can begin to trust myself...my worth.  And then later, others.

Stunning.

Color in Portland

 

 

* inspired by, and to rival, the lovely Amy Komar's Color in Fairbanks   ;)

9:53 am, Sunday

Sunday is my favorite day, and I'll tell you why.  It inherently has a sense of calm, rest, ease, and stillness-a natural 'pause'.  It allows us all to take in the moment we exist in now, and sit with it for a millisecond longer...to sip tea with a book, don sweaters and go on wandering walks, partake in something a little less ordinary or rushed, and not too far planned or ambitious.  It encourages us to converse with others, eat substantially and to fill bellies and souls with nourishment. On Sundays we remember time that has passed-both recent and archeological, more grandiose- and anticipate time that is approaching.  Sunny Sundays feel like possibility, rainy ones are comforting and familiar, and evoke saudades.  Sunday has no agenda or expectation.  Sunday just is.

one of my original minis, now in the hands of a lovely patron

 Today I will enjoy this blustery fall Sunday with a bit of easiness and flexibility- a lightness and calm reflective of this day of pause.  And I hope you will too.

Arty Party

Announcing my latest show in the coffee shop circuit, Cup & Saucer, Kenton!  As is customary of all  neighborhoods to celebrate their neighborhood-y glitz & glory with an art walk on a random night that becomes 'no-longer-random-but-special-and-unique-in-its-randomness-of-selection-and-tradition' (an attribute that really gets to the heart of things...makes Portland what it is) Kenton, i.e. downtown North Portland, shines on with "Third Thursday" in the style of the more common "First Fridays" known the nation-over.  Yes, most of the other Thursdays in the month are taken by the Pearl District, and the Alberta Arts District, and Monday just doesn't have that certain je ne sais quoi.  Third Thursday it is.

So, there will be a lovely reception on the Thursday coming (October 21) from 5-8 pm where I will be holding down the fort in the company of wine and cheese and waiting for onlookers, patrons, and obligated loved ones to partake with me and celebrate how well the rust-orange walls and sea-foam booth seats go with the palette of my work:

 

....right??  

I hope to see you there~  8237 N Denver Ave, Portland, OR 97217.

Back to the Drawing Board

It's no secret,
I'm hoping to lose my nine-to-five.
It doesn't fuel my creative fire
It rather leaves but burned out embers.

But in the meantime,
I am trying hard to problem solve
A tunnel through to the other side.

There are a myriad of limited solutions (ha!)
 Each day its back to the drawing board

I try some other constructive means to get to three p.m.

But today
I decided to stick with a plan to sketch my way in and out of days:

ryan

shaniqua

10.10.10

"X" (10)

The shushing of the rain, the low hum of housemates' voices wakens me.  The lingering low din of the train's horn in the distance too.  Everything is submerged in a gray-cloud shroud.  Today is a stay-in-bed day, or a paint-my-heart-out day, once I get the Sunday motivation. 
Sunday motivation is different from other days.  It is gentler, more forgiving, flexible, willing to negotiate, compromise.   My handwriting today looks different than usual.  It suggests a touch of madness, creative frenzy.  It begs to keep filling the page frantically, poetically- or at least more poetically than usual.   The air is heavy, hot...almost saturated-wet, thick.  Last night over dark-and-stormies old songs from formative years summoned saudade.  Missing-moments.  That is, moments of missing.
These are signs of feeling fall: the shroud, the wet, the moments of missing.  Best go paint it out.

Last Thursday

I just discovered my favorite new gallery on Alberta street:

Together Gallery..

photo courtesy of together gallery

...a quaint unassuming little rockin' space, it was unbeknown-st to me for far too long.  They have some great local artists' digs in the store, like prints by two I like- Yellena James, Jay Howell- and others.  Zines, handmade books and cards, jewelry and other "merch" by local artists. Bravo Together Gallery~


Here's my Last Thursday experience (as part of the early evening crowd):

my wares

caravan?

provisions

vegan goodies