Even if it doesn't seem as so.
That's a hard pill for some to swallow, especially in moments where you want to yell "WTF?" (though it doesn't hurt to do that too...)
...like when you are hurling yourself in the direction of your creative life dream, grinning wide, coattails flying behind you in your creative dreamy arty breeze, and you receive some staggering unexpected and weight-y news that flips the whole scenario over like a sidewinder ripping through your living room, leaving chaos on the floor and a giant mess to sort through and reorder. And just as you begin to identify "oh, this goes here, that was there" in the make-up of your entire creative and thriving self, you break your hand.
|at least I achieved a sweet arty cast...|
And at that moment you really begin to question what the Universe is going for here. Really?
But I'm learning it's all about faith. (Man, I never thought I'd be using that word!) A frame of mind. A zen practice. A connectivity to something greater. Cosmic.
It seems like all my work in trust and openness to the will of the Universe these days/weeks/months is not for nothing. There has been an internal shift that I cannot deny- like tectonic plates underneath our own feet. Where once my avalanching snowball of negativity rolling down the hill would bury "trust" under the heavy pile of defeatedness, now I can step out of the way and trust that the Universe will intervene and that even if it doesn't seem like everything could possibly be alright, it will be.
Perhaps it took such a brute force and final straw that broke the camel's back (i.e. my hand...but it WAS the right and I'm a southpaw...) to recognize this legitimate growth, this shifting of plates within. This is not to say that the road immediately ahead won't be bumpy and frustrating and at times heavy, hard. But if I can trust the Universe, I can begin to trust myself...my worth. And then later, others.